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Showing posts with label Happiness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Happiness. Show all posts

Sunday, 29 September 2013

Raise money online - Is it for real?

After removing myself from my job, i am down to nothing, no income. After all the promising, now, husband is now forcing me to live with the in-law, which obviously, frankly speaking, after that horrific night 5 years ago. Experience says i should not live with her, and not in her house.

What happened 5 years ago?
I was chased out from my own house by my mother-in-law. For some reasons, i managed to go back after much persuasion, and she had moved out of my house months after.

So, can God tell me a reason why i should live with her in her house?

I am given a choice to stay in my house. MONEY.
I am determined to find a way to earn money. online. but, i just can't get a quick result. 
I guess i am really weak and useless, like husband and my previous boss think of me. But i am still determine to prove them wrong, not just 2 of all, but all the people who says i am a piece of useless junk, my life should be terminated. Yes, nasty words, so imagine my level of depression after dwelling in these words.

During my ventures, i found a interesting site:



I read on-going cases, success stories that people request funding, donations to be exact.
I was amazed about how it works. The same question goes, do people really just donate just like that??? Wow.
How i wish i can do the same! But how far can i go?

Why don't just one of you readers start clicking on those banners i put here and sign up for free, and prove it to me, and i am not even asking you to donate money to me? Just a click will do, please?

Jane
Night Desperato Project/


Friday, 20 September 2013

Dentist Trip

Hey The Living!

I'm back finally. After much encouragement. Especially what happened today. I would say, i was very lucky to encounter this. I strongly believe that my story will definitely take a lot of those horror stories at the National Dental Centre stand out of their limelight.

I had 4 wisdom tooth, one lies with a perfect perpendicular, one with an angle, the other two acts as if they are part of other teeth.

I removed one of the tooth 3 years ago, the one that have 90 degrees view, rotting right to its core, exposing its center. Caused much pain even when drinking a glass of water. That i endured for about a year before my husband accumulated some spare cash for the operation. My dentist then was a 60+ years old. It took 1 hour of shoving (and shifting) the entire row of teeth, to get it out, and cost wise. Oh People, you know the market rate of private dentists. After the operation, the hole recovered well, but i felt something wrong with the teeth beside it, so, i tried my best not to further damage it.

However, i knew the other 2 wisdom teeth are also decaying badly, but his charges are really too high, and the operation gave me jitters.

The day finally came, about a fortnight ago, when i accidentally touched the 2 decaying wisdom teeth when trying to get the struck food out of it. I guessed, one of the cores is exposed as well, since then, i got cuts on my tongue when attempting to clear struck whatever from it. Since then, the dull pain lingers.

During the whole of last week, the pain increases. i posted a post on Facebook, asking for alternatives for a dentist, for my old dentist had retired 2 years ago. Not much alternatives given, i check forums, groups, even blogs. I was given a few solutions, i decided to give it a try probably early next year.

Last night, the pain came sudden, and horrifying, i woke up in the middle of night, just to brush, to rinse with mouth wash. (i nearly tried using brine). I made another decision, i'm going to start the process earlier.

After work after mid-day, i traveled down to the public doctors.
I reached the public doctor's after 1 and a half hour of waiting at the registration and waiting area for doctors just to get a referral letter to see the dentist. The wait and pain is excruciating, it is affecting my right ear, starting to cause some strange buzzing sound, my sinus is not doing great due to the cold environment i was in since 9 am.

The jovial doctor, was telling me off that visiting the private dentist will be a faster way out from the pain. Because waiting for the public dentist will probably take at least 6 months of waiting just for the first appointment for consultation, whereas private dentist will probably do it right away. I do not quite agree, because it is what i experienced from my old dentist. However, i was there, i am prepared to wait for one year for the appointment to extract the offending tooth (still thinking of removing the most decayed tooth only) because i did it for the first one.

So, referral letter set. Now see referral officer. This is where the fun is.
He called the Dental General appointments office, guess what i got. The other end of the line, told him, there's a cancellation of appointment, on the same day, one hour time, ask the girl whether she can fill the appointment. I was shocked, surprised, and happy to hear the news, took the offer immediately. So he advised me to walk over immediately, to set the registration going.

I walked over, which takes less than 5 minutes. Took a lift up to the 6th floor. Register, in less than 15 minutes, a nurse came out and check if i had a x-ray at the public doctor's. Got my teeth x-ray immediately after that. I do not know about you readers have encountered the x-ray machine for teeth, it is pretty cool!

Then, it is the wait. i ran out of battery to surf Facebook, twitter and the internet. I made a short run for the expired magazines at the rack, keeping my mind out of boredom, tiredness, and hunger as i had not eaten since the vegetarian breakfast.

The call finally came, i walked into the consultation room. Made to wait for the busy dentist, but is ok, gave me time to accustom the environment, it is definitely very different from private dentist. My private dentist place, is very cramped up, with merchandise, phone, notes, tools, and the whole room looks dusty and dark. This one i had, was very bright, spacious and very clean, very sterile. I can actually walked around with the nurse working around. I get to see my x-ray, super-imposed on the computer, now, i can see the condition of all my teeth. The nurse explained a bit about it, asks few routine questions.

I am shivering from anticipation, from extreme cold. I was given a blanket, something you really don't get from private dentist.

Then, my Dentist finally came, to what i understand from the conversations with other staff, she sounds like some big shot in the department, very busy. She explained further about my condition, and now, she suggested me to remove 3, not 1, but 3 wisdom teeth, in one session. i was a bit worry about the cost. but i mentally brushed it off first. Then, she explains about the different color on the x-ray (even though it is only black and white). But with her explanation, now i finally understand why and how my jaw hurts every year, with the two major decaying teeth. And my doubts is cleared about the tooth beside my previous tooth, and i have 2 teeth to patch up, after i'm done with these 3 extractions. Like the public doctor, she tells me to go private dentist to do the "scalding", what i understand about the patching up of the broken teeth caused by the 2 wisdom teeth. I guessed is the general waiting time for the appointment is too long, 6 - 9 months, as rumored.

Actually, to think of it, i can start queuing for the public dentist for scalding now, it will have sufficient time for the holes i will then created to recover.

Now, it is time, i find it strange, the dentist only ask for 4 capsules. Nothing else. I was looking for the scalpel. Then, comes in the jabs, several, i lost count. 3 of it, extremely painful, but i was taught on the spot to relax, and i followed the instructions, the pain was lessen much more, and shorter. subsequently, she promised the later jabs will be painless... and she asked her nurse to get longer needle... !!! Okay, then, here comes the last few jabs, with the longer needle, frightening, initially, but she kept to her promise, it is really not that painful.

Then, the nurse was instructed to bring me Downstairs, 3rd floor. I thought it was only for financial counselling, like normal hospitals. So i followed her, she left me. i wondered if she will come back me, which in the end, i realized, she never came back. i find it strange, on 3rd floor, there are 2 groups of people, one with those sterilized greens, and the uniformed administrative nurses outside. I could not talk very well. my 2 sides of the mouth was numb. Even my injured tongue is numb, i don't understand, i didn't get any jab there at all, the place is colder, i am really shivering, i can't even sign properly. After All administrative stuff settled, they brought me in, teaches me to put things in locker and wear shower cap, wear some green cover for my shoes and wear some surgical clothes, then i realized the surgery is actually performed here, by another dentist! Okay, to be exact, a Surgeon!

No wonder, the administrative assistant, asked me if i am ready... i thought, she is sending the nurse back to fetch me back upstairs 6th floor.

Ok, now i am in a bigger room, less cheery, more groomy. but still feels much better than in the private dentist. the old nurses, now there are 3 of them, very much aged, Full of experience, check my condition, realised i'm really cold. They gave me hot water bottle, wrapped me up with thermal blanket. I was so grateful, because the warmth of the bottle and the blanket stopped my shivering almost instantly. Then.

My Sugeon came in. She looks fierce, strict. Yet one of nurse which i managed to catch her attention and i managed to chatted with her a bit, she re-assured me, i got one of the best surgeon, Big Doctor, she told me, the whole process will be very fast, and i won't know what happened. And the nurse told me, that my case is  simple. It seems, the information had been passed around very fast, and they analyse the situation, and what to do, very fast.

So, given time to prepare for the surgury. The tray is finally pushed out. I am now in fear, not cold. Yet, i was told by the surgeon that the whole operation will take 15 minutes. Wow. And She explained about the procedures, and steps, and reason. And before every step, she re-assure and lightly touch on the reason, which i quickly acknowledge and thank her, tried to smile, but the numbness is catching on, i think i couldn't do much.

So, i was covered up, had a nice cool mask over my eyes, with little light seeping beside the nose area. But reminded that covering eyes to prevent infection, so, i promptly closing my eyes, shutting out my curiosity.
This is really very different from private dentist, he does not covers me up, i keep having the glaring lights in the closed eyes during the whole gluing 1 hour.

I was told she's starting on the upper right, which i slowly hearing drills and cracks. The pushing and shoving was warned before it is done, but it is very very gentle compared what i had 3 years ago. When i hear the cracks, i was told, she is cutting the tooth into 2, which i accept the fact. In Fact, i hears these cracks before, even today, the cracks is gentle compared what i had with the private dentist.

And i felt the push and pull, and a crack, at my left side, and she announced. "All Done!" I was surprised and shocked again, because i only counted 2 teeth, the less damaged ones. The worst tooth, i didn't wear and felt anything at all. I even inquired and checked, then, the elderly nurse handed me my souvenirs, 3 teeth. I was so amazed, and she kept her time, 15 minutes.

Then, she and her staff ensured i do not feel giddiness, step by step, something i'm famous for, however, for certain reason, i did not black out.

The stories, of 6 months of wait for first appointment, another 6 months wait for the operation All Brushed aside. I got it all done within a day, from the referal letter to the extraction of not just one, but all of my left-over wisdom teeth!

Price? Most of Today's bill is deducted from my pension funds, total bill is as much as 3 years ago, not 3 times as much. Woah!

It's real worth it, for a better Smile. To enjoy life without decaying teeth in the way, no more stuck food, no more painful plain water drinking.

So, Smile : ) ... after i recovered from the surgery... i can now, because my numbness had not wear off... now is the aftercare, and stoppage of bleeding in importance.

Oh, they set a appointment for me to see the first dentist consultant, guess how long...  ... 2 weeks time!

The only problem is now... i can't tutor my children for the weekend.

Signing out
;)
Jane
Night Desperato Project




Wednesday, 28 August 2013

Positive Thinking

The Power of positive thinking must not be underestimated.

That's how our brains works, the energy of these positive thinking gives you the energy to continue on something. On top of that, it improves not just mental health but also physically as well.

These are few ways you may try:
  1. Meditation
  2. Writing
  3. Play
In short, it is simply to find pleasure in things you do.

Notes taken from:
Positive Thinking at Work Place

genuineptr.com

You know what, i do not feel like writing much on this article, that's why it is so short.
The strangest, thing about the above article here is that.
I have a queue of documents to write review and if have to, promote it.
And yet, by the time for me to write this one, I was feeling really really down and out.
In the end, this short article above had been postponed for more than a week.
Fortunately, i do not have to pay a penalty for delaying this like empower network last time.

For 3 whole weeks, i had been knocked out physically and emotionally in work, at home, everywhere, by events, that put me in despair.

I couldn't get a simple document right, i kept making my boss angry. And i really want to leave, but i couldn't leave because of financial issue. Yes, 720 is not much, i can find better pay in other places.
"But it pays a bill, why not?" quoted from Les Miserables
At least i am not like those Vietnamese girls, using their beauty and their sweet voice, just one request, they received $400 in cold hard cash, sometimes best, just a phone call, $400 goes straight into their account when they are overseas, and it definitely takes less than 1 hours!
I have to slough 45 hours to get the same amount!!
My boss, i feel that, they think i cannot afford to leave because of my heavy financial burden, just keep pressing as if i was made of clay. Yes, i am made of mud, i'm clay, but one day, this clay will dry up, and hardened.
That's why when the Malaysian Girl Blogger recently blogs about how poor thing Singaporean girls are, how easy and rich her life was, ya, i ENVY and i AGREED! Despite the number of flames this blogger got, i must say these Singaporean flamers had not seen and experienced the other side of  Singapore, my side.

At home, housework had been delayed for years, and i had been doing 7 days worth of work within 1 or 2 days (the weekends). And someone actually asked me personally, and on twitter, what do i do during weekends when i am away from my desk job. I do not believe it nobody understands the importance of house keeping. Oh yes, because they do not need to do everything themselves. And they do not have kids who mess it up by many means as soon as you clean up. In fact, the best time to clean up is when all of them are asleep, but once just one, just one, wakes, i am back in Square One! Tell you, it is mission impossible. And everybody is telling me, Don't give up! Press on! Your life will be better! SIGH... I can only say, i will try period.

At Love, is horribly confusing, i do not know whether my beloved husband is with me or just playing along.
Hey boy! I know when one does grocery for me in the middle of night, one is meeting someone out there, and now, instead of direct confronting, the irritating girl,  i simply playing prank calls to that girl every night, hoping to remind her, how irritating she is. So stop telling me there's no frozen/sub-frozen food in the supermarket. L-O-L,  now i can imagine, even my readers here are laughing at the excuse! It is because you don't want to buy it so it will spoil because you are not heading straight home after grocery shopping, giving you away. And stopping giving excuses why i cannot do grocery shopping with you in the middle of the night too, just because you want to meet your loving young leech.
So stop visiting those places, maybe i will forgive you, else, see you in hell.
So please, girls, stop thinking he's rich and nice, he's much poorer than you.
At least you just open mouth, and even sleep with any man, you get your $400 - $1000, in my previous few paragraphs ago.
I can't even squeeze a $500 out of him to pay my grocery bills a month, so you think about it, can you get a $500 out of him by just pouring him a glass a beer!

So much so for positive thinking! A friend of mine whom i know this June told everyone online, that he have to block all negative thinking people on his face-book, i wonder he blocked me, my life and my head is FULL of them!

Each day passes, when i walked along the streets going work, going school, coming home, even every night i will wake up in the middle of sleep, just couldn't help it to shed tears. Just as lonely the streets are, this world is, no one comes up to comfort. I, of course, not surprised because even anyone do, they will be turned away, so, no one does this anymore. It is a torture to face everything, and everything looks like a failure. i do not know how to console myself, i do not know how not to make my boss angry, i do not know how to avoid fear of getting sacked everyday. I look at my children, i see their homework, test results, phone calls of concern from their teachers, i do not how to face myself, what a bad mother, no money to pay for their tuition, so stupid, don't know how to teach them, discipline them, let them play all day, all night, they didn't even bother to revise homework, they don't realize the importance. Husband comes back, messy house, his gadgets spoil by children, i am so ignorant, and couldn't control their mischief. So, positive thinking? Try me. When your life is FULL of downs. Try.

Let me know whether it works:
First, LOOK DOWN... there are more miserable people out there who have no help and support at all, not even a written or spoken sentence.
Second, THINK how LUCKY you are, that you can access to blogs, or your face-book, or even twitter, with endless, boundless support groups, in every way. I would thought, people will let me die if i just leave a suicide message, in the end, i gets encouragement even from stranger whom i might just added as friend in less than an hour.
Third, CONTRIBUTE BACK to the support groups you receive from, be it face-book, be it twitter, or even streets. See someone crying silently on the streets, approach them, offer them a tissue. See cases like me, words of console help, and please, for God's sake, use your empathy.

Signing out
Jane
Night Desperato Project.